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1. 

   Alyx

   102 Kudos

   07/10/09

   Dear Alinag,
   Please believe me I know exactly what you are going through, almost sounds exactly like what I went through and in some ways still going through except my co-dependent N dad has passed these 10 years and had to deal with N-mom and since she is older now getting more demented and is driving me crazy over her crazy dramas. She has actually made me ill this week. For you at least you got a college education. My parent never insisted on it. I went to jr college and then started working where he worked..see they had that planned too...they shit on my dreams of being an artist. Make sure whatever you do you have the best college education and job you can get in the outside world....believe they will not be there for you. You need to establish your own sense of worth and being. If you can become financially seperate from them the rest of your life,..take it and get away as far as you can from them, and become a successful being. No not fall into the trap of becoming an N yourself..remember those are learned traits and if you can catch it yourself...stop yourself and say this is not what normal people do and prevent yourself from doing it. Remember make yourself finacially stable, this is one of their hooks to keep you, not letting you become financially stable and dependent on them, like mine did. I hope this has helped somewhat. There is not much help out there and when you try to describe this mental disease of our parents to someone they think we are the crazy ones, just like all the websites and others have previously mentioned so you need to be smart. Document what they do to you!!!!! Tape record her rantings!!!! Please keep in touch.
   Original comment »

   07/11/09

   Reply from alinag:

   Dear Alyx, Wow thank you so much! I really appreciate all of this, if you can keep talking to me. I guess I've been going through a crisis with realizing how crazy they are. You're right, I'm lucky in that I was given a college education, but I feel like I've been living in hell. I'm not exaggerating when I said my mom controls my every move. I have no personality, I haven't been able to maintain a close relationship with anyone. I've never had a boyfriend, probably because I'm so emotionally screwed up. Everyday feels like a struggle and I always thought everyone goes through this. How am I going to be okay? If I just take some money they keep and move far away, is that very stupid? I know I'm thinking with my emotions, I should stay in my school, but can I be sane and still be around them. I have friends I can stay with, but will they realize I'm trying to be distant. Can I fake that? I guess I have to convince myself that I can do this. But what if you feel like you're gonna crazy or become an N yourself?

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